The Double Handed Wipe
This is a tale to lament the porcelain gleam. Now met its end by lumps of brown and green. Once …
Pure Pooetry
An Overdose of Odour
A deep long tooting like from an obe… Came from the occupied commode. Hideously wafting outward vile scent. This stench …
Pure Pooetry
Undies in a Bunch
I’m perched on the porcelain, slumped in a hunch. Trying to poop but my undies are in a bunch. I …
Pure Pooetry
Heavy Dump at Dusk
Sitting on the throne late one evening… I felt a shudder as the brown was leaving. This dump at dusk …
Pure Pooetry
Rectal Rush
Something in my gut did not feel good. Clearly I’ve eaten the wrong kind of food. Time was of the …
Pure Pooetry
Settling The Doodoo Debt
I don’t mean to cause anyone to fret… But I’m here to settle a doodoo debt. I hadn’t visited the …
Pure Pooetry
Poo Can’t Touch This
As I was wiping I felt something warm. I hoped like hell the paper wasn’t torn. Thin and whispy is …
Pure Pooetry
Rumble in The Bronx
That seriously did not just happen… An apoocalypse while I was a-crappin’. Something monstrous was making its way… Through my …
Pure Pooetry
The Dry Wipe: Redux
The aftermath of my last massive meal… Left my bowels with a wet and soggy feel. But an odd thing …
Pure Pooetry
A Slam Dunk
With a loud resounding POOTOHEY… I violently fired a brown gooey. With such a high-speed rectal blast… In a speckled …
Pure Pooetry
Blockage of Brown
Those nachos tasted awesome going in… But gave me a gas stinking of pure sin. And the cheeseburger loaded with …
Pure Pooetry
Runaway Boulder
It’s best to never tempt your fate. Especially regarding your stinky date. But I’ve just birthed a runaway boulder! It …
Pure Pooetry
Channeling The Shitstorm
The stars have aligned, my bowels are primed. Centuries have waited for this brown grime. Within me brews an epic …
Pure Pooetry
Stale Stool
Sometimes my doo has a really stale smell. Usually when I haven’t dumped in a spell. And the colour looks …
Pure Pooetry
The Number of The Bog
Menacing fart clouds predict an ominous storm. An ancient evil prophecy is about to be born. Now I’m dropping a …
Pure Pooetry
The Great Brown Pointer
You’ve all heard the story of the shark named jaws… Now hear about The Great Brown Pointer named Smores. It …
Pure Pooetry
High Tech Turds
The past must have been such a bore. Our forefathers never had cheeks this sore. The kids today can’t use …
Pure Pooetry
Fecal Failure
Here is a terrible tale of a sickening brown fail… When I was pranked by a caca-cocktail. I had just …
Pure Pooetry
