Extruding The Noodle
In the land of the blind, one-eyed man is king. But in the bowl, only the brown eye will sing. So …
The Fumes! The Fumes!
The Fumes! The Fumes! My sanity is consumed! The stink trapped in the bed… Is messing with my head. The …
Plunging To Death
I swear this plane just hit some rough turbulence… Just as I blasted away some lengthy flatulence. I’m miles above …
A Meaty Brown Stew
This meaty brown stew, in the form of my poo. Its look and smell, sadly too well I knew. As …
Half Flush or Full?: Redux
Do you press the half flush or full? It depends if the stink is nasty and cruel. Cos if that …
The Secret of Clean
What’s the best way to get the bowl clean? What’s the secret for a shiny gleam? There’s a method known …
Repugnant Rapunzel
An ungodly stink so fetid and sick… Hit my nostrils like a tonne of bricks. A blunt force trauma so …
Stubborn Brown Chunks
A big blast of urine was not enough. To substitute the power of the flush. Clinging to the bowl’s inner …
Fecal Fibre Power
Is there such a thing as too much fibre in your diet? I ask because my pooping time is never …
The Royal Flush
King Shit rules from his porcelain throne. And I the lowly servant wipe his tailbone. Cleaning the royal dunnies are …
Not a Friend
Bowels are loaded, bowels are primed. It’s time to unleash an ounce of slime! It comes out thick, it comes …
The Double Handed Wipe
This is a tale to lament the porcelain gleam. Now met its end by lumps of brown and green. Once …
Rumble in The Bronx
That seriously did not just happen… An apoocalypse while I was a-crappin’. Something monstrous was making its way… Through my …
The Great Brown Pointer
You’ve all heard the story of the shark named jaws… Now hear about The Great Brown Pointer named Smores. It …
Call a Plumber
Every time I poop its gigantic in girth. Forget the bowl I worry about planet Earth. Hurdling into the bowl …
I’m Out of Order
I have a disease. Well, it’s more of a sickness. I block toilets with turds of mammoth thickness. No matter …
Turned To Darkness – Part I
Darkness fell upon the bowl… As The Wizard arrived to reap souls. He prays on the innocent who have no …
