There’s a Goblin in My Loo
There’s a goblin in my loo. He devours all the poo. But he’s quite a nice chap. Never gives a …
The Fumes! The Fumes!
The Fumes! The Fumes! My sanity is consumed! The stink trapped in the bed… Is messing with my head. The …
Abandon Shit!
In my gut, there’s a churning of boiling hot lava. Fuelled by chilli, beans and several cups of java. This …
No Respect
I’m a couple coffees in when I feel the brown sin. If I don’t poop soon the fecal will claim …
Brown Barnacle
The seas were angry my good friends. As a monstrous barnacle traversed the s-bends. This was no ordinary marine crustacean. …
The Secret of Clean
What’s the best way to get the bowl clean? What’s the secret for a shiny gleam? There’s a method known …
Repugnant Rapunzel
An ungodly stink so fetid and sick… Hit my nostrils like a tonne of bricks. A blunt force trauma so …
Red Rooster Booster
Currently, my anus is firmly seated. I had to throne, so I quickly retreated. Today for lunch was tasty Red …
The Royal Flush
King Shit rules from his porcelain throne. And I the lowly servant wipe his tailbone. Cleaning the royal dunnies are …
Dirty Business
What happened to those things that make blue water? My porcelain struggles with this brown slaughter. I remember once things …
Not a Friend
Bowels are loaded, bowels are primed. It’s time to unleash an ounce of slime! It comes out thick, it comes …
The Double Handed Wipe
This is a tale to lament the porcelain gleam. Now met its end by lumps of brown and green. Once …
Undies in a Bunch
I’m perched on the porcelain, slumped in a hunch. Trying to poop but my undies are in a bunch. I …
Heavy Dump at Dusk
Sitting on the throne late one evening… I felt a shudder as the brown was leaving. This dump at dusk …
Settling The Doodoo Debt
I don’t mean to cause anyone to fret… But I’m here to settle a doodoo debt. I hadn’t visited the …
Rumble in The Bronx
That seriously did not just happen… An apoocalypse while I was a-crappin’. Something monstrous was making its way… Through my …
Channeling The Shitstorm
The stars have aligned, my bowels are primed. Centuries have waited for this brown grime. Within me brews an epic …
Turned To Darkness – Part III
After what seems a millennium The Count has risen. A full brown moon is out and nuggets will be spillin’. …
