I don’t mean to cause anyone to fret…
But I’m here to settle a doodoo debt.

I hadn’t visited the loo in quite a spell…
Cos I was fearing the aftermath smell.

But now I’ve just taken a record-breaking dump.
And all I’m left with is my sweaty rump.

You see it was such an effort and a strain.
To force out such a heinous brown rain.

And because I had put it off for so long…
My anus screamed a second awful song.

A surge of torrential liquid never seen before.
The power blasted me right off the floor!

And now I’ve pooped enough for the year.
The porcelain has a permanent smear.