Thy Fart is Turder
A distorted trumpet sounds off a toot… A weak brown oozes instead of shoots. An emo screech begins to wail… …
Extruding The Noodle
In the land of the blind, one-eyed man is king. But in the bowl, only the brown eye will sing. So …
The Fumes! The Fumes!
The Fumes! The Fumes! My sanity is consumed! The stink trapped in the bed… Is messing with my head. The …
Merry Shitmas!
Here’s a seasonal experience much too awful… I just pooped out a whole Christmas bauble! If it had cracked, I’d …
Repugnant Rapunzel
An ungodly stink so fetid and sick… Hit my nostrils like a tonne of bricks. A blunt force trauma so …
The Caganer
El Caganer squats in the middle of the field. Pants around ankles, soil ready to yield. The tradition says all …
Fuelling The Fatberg
The sewers beneath old London town… Conceal a secret coated in brown. The tubes and pipes that lead to dunnies… …
Drop The Brown Anchor Me Farties!
A jolly good scrubbing was in order… After I polluted the lower deck water. The whole damn crew would grin …
Can’t Shake This Nagging Doubt
So I’m dropping a load just like I normally would… When the last lump asks why he should. He is …
Fanning The Flames
I’m laying in bed in the dead of night. My bowel rumbles and needs to shite. But first I sound …
Rumpty Dumpty
I’m Rumpty Dumpty, I’ve got a big head. And I just decided to drop a brown egg! From my high …
The Price of Pooping
Why are dunny rolls suddenly worth a bundle? I just need something soft against my grundle. On eBay I saw …
Better Not Slip
Last night’s burger was delicious and nice. But this morning my rectum is paying the price. My gut felt normal, …
Clean Break
This damn log feels jammed. Half way out the shits crammed. If only I had a bogdozer to nudge… This …
The Seas of Doodoo Dread
Everyone’s angry cos I’ve been farting up a storm. Do I need to take a dump or is this just …
One in The Oven
Something in my gut weighs a tonne. You could say I’m cooking a brown bun. But my internal oven is …
Blast Off!
Off to the loo, I make a mad dash. Gotta drop this load in a fecal flash. Lid goes up, …
