An ankle monitor to keep me honest.
So my behaviour is strictly modest.

I’ve been banned from every club.
No disco dancing to step of dub.

My last club outing was not just me…
Cos my spread starfish, all did see.

As you may recall I really messed up.
The dancefloor that is, painted abrupt.

My brown poured all over the floor.
I gave the janitor an extra chore.

The other patrons began to barf.
I just stood there, had a laugh.

But the fallout was quite extreme.
Not to mention my brown cream.

Given a fine, sentenced and shunned.
All due to the expedition of my bum.

“Man doodoo-dances” said headlines.
The most heinous of all “Caca Crimes.”