Fecal Failure

Here is a terrible tale of a sickening brown fail…
When I was pranked by a caca-cocktail.

I had just been introduced to someone new.
They smelled gross, a scent that I sadly knew.

Upon meeting them I asked, “how do you do?”
I had to wonder if they were loaded with poo.

I shook their hand, but not too hard.
I couldn’t risk loosening their lard.

“Can you do me a solid?” they then asked.
Their true intention was secretly masked.

I suspected shit was about to get real.
Hopefully, it was just a fart they did peel.

“A solid, you say?” Did they mean brown clay?
Their sly look had given them away.

They said, “Actually, I gotta do a runner!”
What happened next was a total bummer.

By “solid” and “runner” they meant other things…
Things that are sticky and often cling.

I looked at my hand and nearly fainted.
My palm was stained and brownly painted!

The fiend had smeared a turd when we shook hands.
I copped a handful from their rear gland!

I was furious, but they were already miles away.
I’ll never forget that fecal failure to this day.

Pure Pooetry

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