A Fistful of Poop
I clench in my hand a fistful of poop. It’s a warm and soft mushy goop. The dog left me …
A Searing Hot Wound
I can’t handle chilli like I once could. Paprika leaves my nethers feeling not so good. If a meal is …
Voiding The Vowels Turns Three!
Happy birthday to POO! That’s right folks! Volume 1: Voiding The Vowels, our book of rich, meaty, nuggety pooetry turns …
Quiet Time
Can’t a guy get some peace and quiet? Pooping in silence..have you ever tried it? I go to the loo …
Merry Shitmas!
Here’s a seasonal experience much too awful… I just pooped out a whole Christmas bauble! If it had cracked, I’d …
Killer Stench
The fragrance sprayed totalled thrice. Yet still lingered the unsavoury spice. Nostrils are stung and set ablaze. In frozen state, …
Dirty Business
What happened to those things that make blue water? My porcelain struggles with this brown slaughter. I remember once things …
Multitasking Gone Wrong
Honestly, I’ve never pooped in a sock… But the opposite might get pipes blocked. Before I sat down to take …
Undies in a Bunch
I’m perched on the porcelain, slumped in a hunch. Trying to poop but my undies are in a bunch. I …
Blockage of Brown
Those nachos tasted awesome going in… But gave me a gas stinking of pure sin. And the cheeseburger loaded with …
Stale Stool
Sometimes my doo has a really stale smell. Usually when I haven’t dumped in a spell. And the colour looks …
Call a Plumber
Every time I poop its gigantic in girth. Forget the bowl I worry about planet Earth. Hurdling into the bowl …
I’m Out of Order
I have a disease. Well, it’s more of a sickness. I block toilets with turds of mammoth thickness. No matter …
Turd Times The Charm
Three poops in a day is a bit too much. And it hasn’t helped to soften the touch. My hole …
Tailpipe Troubles
I’ve got a brown log stuck in the tailpipe. I can’t remove it, even with a wipe. It only pushed …
A Tragic Flush
We often think of toilets as somewhat good. The place to rid our bodies of digested food. But what if …
The Shitting of The Damned
Like a slow-moving snail, my poop started to crown. Obviously aware that soon it would drown. It kept its pace …
