A Sloppy Cough
Regrettably, I just let out a big cough. Followed by a squirt into the trough. But it’s not COVID, I promise …
There’s a Goblin in My Loo
There’s a goblin in my loo. He devours all the poo. But he’s quite a nice chap. Never gives a …
The Number of The Bog
Menacing fart clouds predict an ominous storm. An ancient evil prophecy is about to be born. Now I’m dropping a …
Turned To Darkness – Part II
The challenge is made, the challenge is issued. I grab my wand wrapped in toilet tissue. Papa Poosepi has challenged …
Turned To Darkness – Part I
Darkness fell upon the bowl… As The Wizard arrived to reap souls. He prays on the innocent who have no …
Turd Times The Charm
Three poops in a day is a bit too much. And it hasn’t helped to soften the touch. My hole …
Wuhan Blues (and Browns)
I’ve come down with a case of the Wuhan Blues. And it’s really affecting my number twos. Coronavirus this and …
Wait Your Turn
Excuse me but I cannot help you right now. Something urgent has become known to my bowels. I’m very sorry …
The Sneeze of The Exorcism
Have you ever rushed off to the loo… To unload a much-needed number two? Only to have something violent happen… …
On Halloween Night They Come
It’s the time of year for ghastly ghouls… Tricks and treats and scary stools. It’s already Halloween can you imagine? …
Onomato-poo-eia: Part 2
Ah, the musical sounds from the loo. A RRIIIIIPPPP, a KERPLOP, and a poo. They are not in the billboard …
Iambic Buttameter
By myself quiet and content. Pushing out a stool that’s bent. In the porcelain, I’ve left a dent. A big …
Number Two: Part 2
A second poop in such quick succession. The number two must be an obsession. Nah, this is just a silly …
Cold Winter Morn
I was minding my business one cold winter morn. When all of a sudden my butt gave a terrible yawn. …
Buttweiser Beer
This pud’s for you! A liquid steaming poo. You won’t get drunk. It’s just rear spunk. This frothy number two. …
A Southern Itch
I have this itch down below. It’s where hands should never go. This damn itch must be located. Maybe it’s …
The Poo Sync
This pooem is a bit like synchronised swimming. But it’s to do with scat and two butts are singing… You discover …
Innocent Until Poopin’ Guilty
In a dystopian future, farts have been outlawed. But I’m a wind and law breaker and I get a bit …
