Regrettably, I just let out a big cough. 
Followed by a squirt into the trough. 

But it’s not COVID, I promise you. 
Just some runny number two. 

Something spicy has weakened my bowel. 
Now my rectum wears a sloppy scowl. 

It’s lucky I’m already cheek-docked. 
Else stained would be my frock. 

But earlier when I was far from the throne… 
A sudden sick feeling made me groan. 

And foolishly I let out a similar cough. 
Resulting in expulsion of jetted broth. 

Suspecting I’d had a wardrobe malfunction… 
Slowly I inspected this pants production. 

As I peered into my underwears… 
You can bet I got a frightful scare.