I just had an unpleasant outing. 
Of some sickening sauerkrauting.

Allow me take you back to the start.
As usual it begins with a fart.

I was alerted by a gurgle in my tummy.
Something moved and felt runny.

Then my gut lurched into a gallop.
I recalled eating suspicious scallop.

A sudden feeling of gas build up.
Do I risk this fart? Nup!

But it seeped out in a sneaky hiss.
Revealing the scent of the abyss.

It’s now or never, I must find safety.
Must tread carefully, don’t be hasty.

If I sprint to the sanctuary of the loo…
I may prematurely spill the goo.

But I’m in the throes of another attack… 
Something angry wants out my crack.

Stomach rumbles with another gurgle.
I hold my breath til face goes purple.

And just as I open the toilet door…
My will power screams “No more!”