I’m a couple coffees in when I feel the brown sin.
If I don’t poop soon the fecal will claim the win!

So I rush to the shitter, only to find leavings of a critter.
Whoever used this last prolly drinks Victoria Bitter!

The state is utterly foul, did they shit out a dead owl?
I gotta dump fast, my butthole is about to howl!

A quick sanitary wipe before I sit and ooze unripe.
It won’t be long till I’ve clogged up all the pipes!

Caffeine has this effect, leaving my butthole totally wrecked.
And now stained, the porcelain gets no respect.