Half Flush or Full?: Redux
Do you press the half flush or full? It depends if the stink is nasty and cruel. Cos if that …
Pure Pooetry
The Secret of Clean
What’s the best way to get the bowl clean? What’s the secret for a shiny gleam? There’s a method known …
Pure Pooetry
Quiet Time
Can’t a guy get some peace and quiet? Pooping in silence..have you ever tried it? I go to the loo …
Pure Pooetry
Chocolate Slurpee
There’s no such thing as a Chocolate Slurpee. Only a backdoor vomit and burpy. It’s not a cool treat on …
Pure Pooetry
Merry Shitmas!
Here’s a seasonal experience much too awful… I just pooped out a whole Christmas bauble! If it had cracked, I’d …
Pure Pooetry
Repugnant Rapunzel
An ungodly stink so fetid and sick… Hit my nostrils like a tonne of bricks. A blunt force trauma so …
Pure Pooetry
Stubborn Brown Chunks
A big blast of urine was not enough. To substitute the power of the flush. Clinging to the bowl’s inner …
Pure Pooetry
The Caganer
El Caganer squats in the middle of the field. Pants around ankles, soil ready to yield. The tradition says all …
Pure Pooetry
Killer Stench: The Return
It’s a good thing no one can smell this shiz. Cos I’m dropping a stinker like no one’s biz! It’s …
Pure Pooetry
Killer Stench
The fragrance sprayed totalled thrice. Yet still lingered the unsavoury spice. Nostrils are stung and set ablaze. In frozen state, …
Pure Pooetry
Fecal Fibre Power
Is there such a thing as too much fibre in your diet? I ask because my pooping time is never …
Pure Pooetry
Red Rooster Booster
Currently, my anus is firmly seated. I had to throne, so I quickly retreated. Today for lunch was tasty Red …
Pure Pooetry
The Royal Flush
King Shit rules from his porcelain throne. And I the lowly servant wipe his tailbone. Cleaning the royal dunnies are …
Pure Pooetry
The Magic Poorridge Pot
My loo is shattered and gross. It’s certainly nothing I would boast. Yet busting to go I had little choice. …
Pure Pooetry
A Dead Man’s Doo
The dead man’s doo, sat at the bottom of the loo. It had been lying there for a week or …
Pure Pooetry
Dirty Business
What happened to those things that make blue water? My porcelain struggles with this brown slaughter. I remember once things …
Pure Pooetry
The Horrible Mud Hog
I’m out on a stroll, walking my dog. Feeling pretty good, I have a little jog. The sun is out, …
Pure Pooetry
Fuelling The Fatberg
The sewers beneath old London town… Conceal a secret coated in brown. The tubes and pipes that lead to dunnies… …
Pure Pooetry
