Make it a Large
I’m so damn proud of what I just produced… An indescribable torpoodo from my caboose. I heard the warning sirens …
Pure Pooetry
Wuhan Blues (and Browns)
I’ve come down with a case of the Wuhan Blues. And it’s really affecting my number twos. Coronavirus this and …
Pure Pooetry
Big Steaming Pile
Wow… the size of that deuce was truly epic. Almost as huge as this current pandemic. The ghastly smell made …
Pure Pooetry
All Sick Senses: Redux
Around midnight I was awoken by a terrible sound. A grunting as someone laid a monstrous mound. At first I …
Pure Pooetry
Take A Bow
The spitting and the splatting… Came the spluttery shatting. The claggy and the gooey. My rear feels a bit spewy. …
Pure Pooetry
Pure Pooetry
Clogged Soup
Constipation is downright sucky. Glued fast is the brown mucky. And if you are strapped for time… How do you …
Pure Pooetry
Did Someone Say Panic?
I ask you, what the heck is going on? The toilet paper was flowing 20 miles long! Now there isn’t …
Pure Pooetry
Excrapvation
When you need to go in deep… To wipe out that heinous ex-meat. You consider using the ice cream scoop. …
Pure Pooetry
The Ghastly Appoorition Returns
The ghastly appoorition has returned. My bowels have simply not learned. I failed to eat well. My rear emits a …
Pure Pooetry
The Greasy Beast
Mexican last night was quite the feast. But now I’m harbouring a monstrous beast. To boot, the gas is far …
Pure Pooetry
The Calm Before The Storm
This is the calm before the storm. Prior to the unsavoury being born. Everything is peaceful and quiet. One could …
Pure Pooetry
Can’t Wipe Lefty
As much as I try, and try as I might… I can only ever wipe with my right. A lefty …
Pure Pooetry
The Price of Pooping
Why are dunny rolls suddenly worth a bundle? I just need something soft against my grundle. On eBay I saw …
Pure Pooetry
Accidental Sleaze
I didn’t plan to fart as I blew out a sneeze. And sadly along with it came the rear sleaze. …
Pure Pooetry
Hypootised!
After depositing a dreadful load… And luckily safe in my abode. But upon my face grew a sneer. When into …
Pure Pooetry
Three Flushes
A violent inner spasm… Came from my rear chasm. Followed by a tummy rumble. Bellowing an angry grumble. Dinner was …
Pure Pooetry
Better Not Slip
Last night’s burger was delicious and nice. But this morning my rectum is paying the price. My gut felt normal, …
Pure Pooetry
