I’m hit with an overwhelming urge… 
To commit the most dire of purge. 

This awful feeling has taken me hostage. 
I must immediately release brown sausage. 

My gut is spinning and I’m losing control. 
Make way, I desperately need the bowl! 

I stand up but must remain hunched… 
My bowels may spew out my lunch. 

Steadily I head for the toilet sanctuary. 
A place to offload this nasty Cadbury. 

Each step is a risk of pants oblivion. 
Avoid becoming a shit-flinging simian! 

Destination met, but I struggle with seating. 
This stubborn buckle, will-power is fleeting. 

But I yank down my dacks in the nick of time… 
And air-blast a runny torrent of enzymes!