I’m laying in bed in the dead of night.
My bowel rumbles and needs to shite.
But first I sound off a terrible toot.
It tells me there’s several lumps to poot.
Does it smell? Oh, you bet it does!
I better vent this just because!
If only there was a way to siphon this stink air.
A way that doesn’t melt people’s nostril hairs.
But I gotta try to shift the blame.
So foolishly I start to fan the flames.
I lift up the doona then let it fall.
Its weight pushes out the stench for all.
Now the room stinks like rancid dung.
I better get up and drop this bung.