Meteorite Madness: Part 1
Last night what I shat left me floored. I think it was a brown alien horde. Or maybe a comet, …
Pure Pooetry
Someone Didn’t Flush
The last pooper didn’t flush. They left this rancid mush. But this wasn’t their first time. They added another layer of slime. …
Pure Pooetry
Christening The Crapper
You may not believe this story that I tell… Because you did not witness the horrific smell. But trust me …
Pure Pooetry
The Big Brown Boa
A gusty southerly began to blow. Churning the brown seas to and fro. Monsoonal brown rain also fell. Accompanied by …
Pure Pooetry
A Dead Man’s Doo
The dead man’s doo, sat at the bottom of the loo. It had been lying there for a week or …
Pure Pooetry
Channeling The Shitstorm
The stars have aligned, my bowels are primed. Centuries have waited for this brown grime. Within me brews an epic …
Pure Pooetry
Ex-Meat Sauce
My porcelain throne is empty like the streets. Until now my ass had issued a retreat! This shiny bowl, oh …
Pure Pooetry
Wait Your Turn
Excuse me but I cannot help you right now. Something urgent has become known to my bowels. I’m very sorry …
Pure Pooetry
Brown Smoothie
Dude, I just took the biggest deuce of my life. It’s so goddamn big my anus is in strife. I …
Pure Pooetry
Onomato-poo-eia: Part 2
Ah, the musical sounds from the loo. A RRIIIIIPPPP, a KERPLOP, and a poo. They are not in the billboard …
Pure Pooetry
A Short One About A Long One
How long can this turd be? It felt like two or three. I am excited to get up and see. …
Pure Pooetry
Number Two: Part 2
A second poop in such quick succession. The number two must be an obsession. Nah, this is just a silly …
Pure Pooetry
Pure Pooetry
The Poo Sync
This pooem is a bit like synchronised swimming. But it’s to do with scat and two butts are singing… You discover …
Pure Pooetry
Boredom Bog
I’m unwell and stuck at home with nothing to do. Mounting the throne, I’ll compose a pooem or two. Quite …
Pure Pooetry
Early Morning Quickie
A bit earlier than my usual number two. Today I wait, as I sit on the loo. It’s very pleasant …
Pure Pooetry
A Morning Glory
Early morning and I’m two coffees down. It’s time for me to go lay some brown. I plant my cheeks …
Pure Pooetry
Paid in Full
My cheeks were planted and my turd exploded. I have no doubt the porcelain will be eroded. It was a …
Pure Pooetry
