Dude, I just took the biggest deuce of my life.
It’s so goddamn big my anus is in strife.

I tried to go before but to no avail.
I pushed and pushed but did not prevail.

I let it go cold for about an hour or two.
When suddenly I felt the need to poo.

I barely made the throne as I walked with a limp.
But I made it in time to shrimp out some crimp.

What lies before me is something from a horror movie.
A triple chocolate fudge brownie, nuggety smoothie.