This gooey poop is going way too slow.
I have things to do and places to go.

But they say slow and steady wins the race.
And you should go at your own pace.

But the sound barrier is impossible to break…
Cos this turd I’m birthing isn’t even awake!

I’m attempting the clench and relax manoeuvre.
But maybe I should get the vacuum hoover.

I could suck it out but it might clog the machine.
And my carpets will end up brown and green.

This poop is so slow I’m naming him a Turdle.
In this race, he’s falling on all the hurdles.

The crowd is cheering but he’s coming in last.
The hare speeds past in a brown blur blast.

What’s his secret? Steroids to run the max?
No, his illegal drug of choice is turbo lax!