No Pain, No Poop
Here’s a story of the most heinous of shites. A mighty bog battle, the worst of all fights. I had …
Pure Pooetry
Big Ol’ Bog!
I sit here on the loo and I ponder… This horrid scent, now I wonder… What on Earth did I …
Pure Pooetry
Doom of The Gurgler!
I just ate four roast beef burgers. Now I’m brewing a monster gurgler. I can feel it stewing in my …
Pure Pooetry
A Sloppy Cough
Regrettably, I just let out a big cough. Followed by a squirt into the trough. But it’s not COVID, I promise …
Pure Pooetry
Fecal Freckles
If your throne is peppered with brown specks… You failed your duty of the loo respect. If a reckless rectal …
Pure Pooetry
The Magic Poorridge Pot
My loo is shattered and gross. It’s certainly nothing I would boast. Yet busting to go I had little choice. …
Pure Pooetry
Degrees of Roughness
Ever planted your palm on the opposite wall? While wiping away the brown once and for all? Well, picture this …
Pure Pooetry
My Anus is Aflame
Akin to an old mower is my rear. It lurches and splutters into gear. And just now I let rip …
Pure Pooetry
An Awful Hatching
You’d better start the fan and light a match. Cos something awful from my rear did hatch. Hanging in the …
Pure Pooetry
Better Not Slip
Last night’s burger was delicious and nice. But this morning my rectum is paying the price. My gut felt normal, …
Pure Pooetry
Rectal Resignation
I think my inspooration is drained. Bowels feel as if they’re sprained. I can’t come up with a single rhyme… …
Pure Pooetry
Bad Barista Brew
Here’s a terrible story from my butthole to you. About a white choc coffee turned hellish goo. I dunno what …
Pure Pooetry
Take The Plunge
This damn stubborn poop won’t take the dive. Of the brown the porcelain is deprived. An unloading, my bowel is …
Pure Pooetry
Rather Pale
Ever done a poop that looked rather pale? Mine came out like bread that was stale. I don’t feel unwell, …
Pure Pooetry
The Insides
Something’s wrong on the insides. After last night’s session, I cried. I pooped till I was red and raw. My …
Pure Pooetry
The Loose Bowels
The loose bowels did bleat an unsettling howl… Followed by a spluttering from its wet jowls. I peeked at the …
Pure Pooetry
Slurry in a Hurry
I gotta find some porcelain, I gotta find it fast. I’ve got a brown delivery and I fear it’s gonna …
Pure Pooetry
Monster-Butt-Egg-Hatcher
Bowels are heavy, butthole is tight… But something awful is about to take flight. I imagine inside, all the blobs …
Pure Pooetry
