Akin to an old mower is my rear.
It lurches and splutters into gear.

And just now I let rip a colossal fart.
The kind that tears your rectum apart.

It spat and sprayed, all to my dismay.
Coating the bowl in a sickening way.

And the sound it made was out of this world.
Like a dying beast, it’s final hurl.

It echoed off the tiles with resounding force.
And my butthole scorched from the spicy sauce.

But y’know what, I didn’t give two hoots.
Cos only I hear the grotesque toots.

This bathroom is empty and I am alone.
Firing wildly from my rusty tailbone.

That is until I heard a flush…
Oh my gawd, I began to blush.

Someone was in the cubicle right next to mine!
Obviously hearing my outing of slime!

Oh the humiliation! Oh the shame!
And to boot my anus is aflame!