Take The Plunge

This damn stubborn poop won’t take the dive.
Of the brown the porcelain is deprived.

An unloading, my bowel is in needing.
And the bowl needs a regular feeding.

So I grunt and groan with enormous force.
My rectum coughs a fart so hoarse.

Nothing vents except a brown dust cloud.
This pathetic attempt, I’m far from proud.

I try again with a clench and a heave.
But this poop is denied it’s reprieve.

Now at my wit’s end I devise a crazy plan.
I take the plunger firmly with both hands.

With the rubber seal against my rear flaps…
I begin pumping to extract the crap.

I feel movement within and increase the suction power.
What a great plan, this is my finest hour!

But alas, there is a sudden reversal of my fate.
The pressure is building wrong side of my date.

Then I realise this plan was utterly retarded.
Cos now my breath smells as if I had farted.

Pure Pooetry