Pure Pooetry
Breaking The Seal
I started the day with a mountain of food. Excessive volumes cos I was in the mood. I just kept …
Pure Pooetry
Doodoo-Depression
I’m so doodoo-depressed. Look at these pants I’ve messed. And I’m down in the brown dumps. Even my deuce sags and slumps. …
Pure Pooetry
Poopetually
There was a man named Jack Smith. His pants contained a terrible whiff. Near him you had to hold your …
Pure Pooetry
There’s No Hamster
I have this awful itch… It’s making me twitch. I’ve taken tablets in case of worms. But I still twist …
Pure Pooetry
Half A Tonne
The day is nearly done. As is the goo in my bum. It’s been cooking for hours. Gaining it’s stinky …
Pure Pooetry
The Yuleturd Log
It was Christmas eve and all was well. Except for my gut, it began to swell. I knew it was time, …
Pure Pooetry
The Morning After
I awoke suddenly on the throne… To the sound of my butt’s moan. I’d fallen asleep trying to poop. But …
Pure Pooetry
One Fatal Mistake
Straight to the toilets after lunch. Undies were in such a bunch. My butt was having a bit of a …
Pure Pooetry
Rear Reindeer Smear
It’s that time of season, it’s that time of year. When Santa’s reindeers leave a sickly smear. They fly in …
Pure Pooetry
Pure Pooetry
What a Gentleman
The dude in the cubicle next to mine… Just finished and flushed away his slime. Then I heard him using …
Pure Pooetry
Gone Nukin’
All day long the gas was blowing. The magnitude of this turd was growing. The latest stench signalled to me loud …
Pure Pooetry
Bestial Bog Redux: The Poossession
My butt has been poosessed by a foul beast. It’s back there, lurking in my rear crease. It has been stinking …
Pure Pooetry
Bubble and Squeak
Bubble and Squeak is not for the meek. Causing your poop to grotesquely reek. In fact, it will give you …
Pure Pooetry
Slurry in a Hurry
I gotta find some porcelain, I gotta find it fast. I’ve got a brown delivery and I fear it’s gonna …
Pure Pooetry
That Missed Feeling
“It’s been ages since I had that feeling.” I said to myself, as a fart was peeling. It’s been too …
Pure Pooetry
The Steam at Sheen
I’ll tell you a story and believe me, it’s no lie. I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t come out …
Pure Pooetry
