No Pain, No Poop
Here’s a story of the most heinous of shites. A mighty bog battle, the worst of all fights. I had …
Pure Pooetry
Danish Pastry
Something feels loose, in my caboose. Mustn’t lay brown egg, like a goose. Something wants out, maybe brown grout. It …
Pure Pooetry
Feigned Relief
I grimaced then peaked and felt such relief. Cos prior I’d done what ladies call a queef. I’d feared my undies …
Pure Pooetry
Scatastrophe
While going on a walk with the dog… A scent breezed by, a hint of bog. Old Rover had released quite …
Pure Pooetry
Chilly Session
Bowels are ready but cheeks are timid. If I don’t poop soon, butt will be livid. But the seat is …
Pure Pooetry
Touching Cloth: Redux
A rumbling ripple, I fear brown stipple. Find loo before ass becomes cripple. My gut just spun, this is far …
Pure Pooetry
The Places You’ll Go!
Where our precious butts take rest. To perform the duty we like best. Should be pillowed and comfy. And never …
Pure Pooetry
Meteorite Madness: Part 1
Last night what I shat left me floored. I think it was a brown alien horde. Or maybe a comet, …
Pure Pooetry
The Facilities
Every day I’ve a new ache and pain… And every other, a new brown stain. It’s not what I expected …
Pure Pooetry
Brown Mountain
I just dropped the world’s heaviest load. It shook the foundations of my abode. Porcelain is somehow still intact. Despite the …
Pure Pooetry
A Murder Scene
After taking a monumental dump… I had grave fears for my rump. Inside the bowl it was far from clean. …
Pure Pooetry
Release Brown Sausage
I’m hit with an overwhelming urge… To commit the most dire of purge. This awful feeling has taken me hostage. I must …
Pure Pooetry
Thy Fart is Turder
A distorted trumpet sounds off a toot… A weak brown oozes instead of shoots. An emo screech begins to wail… …
Pure Pooetry
Black Friday, Brown SaTURDay
You won’t find any Black Friday sales here. Instead, there’s something that leaves a smear! It’s Brown SaTURDay! A day …
Pure Pooetry
Fecal Freckles
If your throne is peppered with brown specks… You failed your duty of the loo respect. If a reckless rectal …
Pure Pooetry
Extruding The Noodle
In the land of the blind, one-eyed man is king. But in the bowl, only the brown eye will sing. So …
Pure Pooetry
The Fumes! The Fumes!
The Fumes! The Fumes! My sanity is consumed! The stink trapped in the bed… Is messing with my head. The …
Pure Pooetry
