Last night I ate something quite average.
Now I feel an inner rumbling so savage.
Going in, the taste was just a bit funny.
Now I gotta unload a flooding so runny.
But I’m driving to work while hit by these cramps.
I gotta find a loo before my undies get the damps.
My bowels lurch at every corner and turn.
The origins were spicy, and now my butthole burns.
Loosening the seatbelt alleviates force on my gut.
But I still gotta work through carrying this fecal rut.
My butthole is struggling, barely holding it together.
C’mon big fella, hold back the liquid cheddar.
I pick up the pace, I gotta drop this disgrace.
The sooner it’s out the calmer will be my face.
I zip through the lights just before they go red.
I’m cutting it fine with this unstoppable doodoo-dread.
Green, amber or red, I just don’t wanna see the brown.
Stomach lurches again and my face turns into a frown.
Gas build-up is intense, I urgently need the release.
I gotta tilt on my cheek without blasting out the grease.
I decide to let out a sneaky hiss, all seems safe and dry.
But I took my eyes off the road, now I’m gonna cry!
I didn’t see the car in front, what was I thinking!?!
Crashed in my pants, and brown eye was winking!