Two iced coffees and I’m about to down a third.
Soon the onset of a vicious and violent turd.
But the rest of the day was totally poop free.
Somehow I’d been granted a sweet rear reprieve.
But it’s 3am now and my bowels are wide awake.
Something inside did a violent shake n bake.
It was too good to be true, there’s no escaping the poo.
Sooner or later, your crimes come back to haunt you.
My gut rumbled so hard it kicked me outta bed.
A feeling so awful I think I’d rather be dead.
So I took the throne and lo and behold…
Out came a flooding like never before told.
Imagine Niagara Falls on a stormy, windy day.
The bowl received this plus copious volumes of spray.
And the onslaught went on for quite some time.
Blast after blast, no end to the sicky slime.
I took a sneaky peek at the rancid nitty-gritty.
Instantly I was filled with the feeling of pity.
The substance was a lumpy, swampy lake.
Barely resembling the normal poo I would take.
It was quarter to 4 when finally I could leave.
My gut felt better, but anus felt like a sleeve.