My legs grow numb as I pen this tale.
For I’m on the John as I excrete this whale.

It’s a mighty fierce poo of epic proportions.
My rectum going through all kinds of distortions.

So I heave and ho with all my might.
But the seas are winning this fecal fight.

The captain calls out in his surly pirate voice,
“This stinky mass gives no will to rejoice!”

“This thick wretched beast, a creature from the deep.
Her brown leathery hide, makes my anus weep!”

The water darkens to black and night oozes in.
The tug of war below is ceaseless, no one shall win.