I have a disease. Well, it’s more of a sickness.
I block toilets with turds of mammoth thickness.
No matter where I poop the results have been the same.
Overflowing water with an obstruction in the drain.
The first such incident occurred three weeks ago.
A plunger and five flushes were needed to vanquish the foe.
The second incident happened a few days later.
The gigantic specimen consumed all the toilet paper.
Then I pressed the flush and the bowl instantly filled.
Right to the top, on the verge of spill.
At very the last second the water subsided.
The blockage remained so I chose to fight it.
Again I flushed and to my dismay…
The water refilled just the same way.
So I grabbed the brush to force the lump down.
I had success but the brush was now brown.
Just the other day I dropped a five log bomb.
The drain was blocked and made a sickening pong.
So I quickly flushed and I hoped for the best.
But it ended with my boots getting messed.
After grabbing the brush I forced it down.
Again I flushed but all could do was frown.
Once more the bowl filled up with water.
Yet again I’d sent the toilet out of order.
Just this morning while I was at work.
As per usual my anus began to twerk.
Stumped, I didn’t quite know what to do.
But I took a chance and went to the loo.
I promptly unloaded a mass of frightening terror.
Would you believe it, this was the critical error.
When the time was right I pressed the flush.
But the turd was certainly in no kind of rush.
Once more the water filled right to the edge!
Now there was no brush to use as a dredge.
By a miracle, the water slowly began to recede.
A welcome sign that the turd was trying to be freed.
So I pressed the flusher while trembling in fear.
And hallelujah! All that was left was a gigantic smear!