My friend I heard you were down in the dumps.
I heard your poop was runny with lumps.
So here are my wishes for you to get better.
So that you push out logs less wetter.
Was it something you ate, or something worse?
Causing grief to expel from your meat purse.
Have you got gastro or maybe the flu?
Something so vile, you’ve got violent poos.
I hope the sprays weren’t a pain in the butt.
As your insides backflipped, twisting your gut.
You’re sitting for hours in that lonely stall.
Blasting gooey slops are no fun at all.
Did you fall in? You’ve been gone an age.
Please don’t drown in that rectal rampage.
You’ll need some fresh air to clear the room.
The stink you’ve made will reek of poo-doom.
Your sickly stench will make nostrils flare.
So I really hope your undies were spared!