Shizhard Wizard Killer Stench
The fragrance sprayed totalled thrice. Yet still lingered the unsavoury spice. Nostrils are stung and set ablaze. In frozen state, …
The Royal Flush
King Shit rules from his porcelain throne. And I the lowly servant wipe his tailbone. Cleaning the royal dunnies are …
The Magic Poorridge Pot
My loo is shattered and gross. It’s certainly nothing I would boast. Yet busting to go I had little choice. …
A Dead Man’s Doo
The dead man’s doo, sat at the bottom of the loo. It had been lying there for a week or …
The Horrible Mud Hog
I’m out on a stroll, walking my dog. Feeling pretty good, I have a little jog. The sun is out, …
Fuelling The Fatberg
The sewers beneath old London town… Conceal a secret coated in brown. The tubes and pipes that lead to dunnies… …
Drop The Brown Anchor Me Farties!
A jolly good scrubbing was in order… After I polluted the lower deck water. The whole damn crew would grin …
Not a Friend
Bowels are loaded, bowels are primed. It’s time to unleash an ounce of slime! It comes out thick, it comes …
Multitasking Gone Wrong
Honestly, I’ve never pooped in a sock… But the opposite might get pipes blocked. Before I sat down to take …
The Double Handed Wipe
This is a tale to lament the porcelain gleam. Now met its end by lumps of brown and green. Once …
An Overdose of Odour
A deep long tooting like from an obe… Came from the occupied commode. Hideously wafting outward vile scent. This stench …
Undies in a Bunch
I’m perched on the porcelain, slumped in a hunch. Trying to poop but my undies are in a bunch. I …
Heavy Dump at Dusk
Sitting on the throne late one evening… I felt a shudder as the brown was leaving. This dump at dusk …
Rectal Rush
Something in my gut did not feel good. Clearly I’ve eaten the wrong kind of food. Time was of the …
Settling The Doodoo Debt
I don’t mean to cause anyone to fret… But I’m here to settle a doodoo debt. I hadn’t visited the …
Poo Can’t Touch This
As I was wiping I felt something warm. I hoped like hell the paper wasn’t torn. Thin and whispy is …
The Dry Wipe: Redux
The aftermath of my last massive meal… Left my bowels with a wet and soggy feel. But an odd thing …