Something below doesn’t feel right.
Something nearby smells of shite.

The feeling is off and somewhat unsavoury.
Is my crease slathered in brown gravy?

It might be time to change my underwear.
If I peek below will I get a scare?

Situation is grim, colon is opposite of tight.
Has a wet bird taken fecal flight?

With loose bowels and a stinky hunch…
I gotta play it cool, so undies don’t bunch.

Cos if they’re loaded and I get a wedgie…
People will think I’m a lil bit sketchy.

I try to visualise the contents of my pants.
I see a banker withdraw his brown finance.

Now an image forms of chocolate rocky roid.
The result of my bowels having just void.

It’s time to look, I must take this chance.
Alas, no longer white are these underpants.