Upon waking this morning I knew something was askew.
A sudden and strange feeling that made me want to spew.
There was something down deep inside my pyjama pants.
Something that crept from within my butthole’s expanse.
It was a mushy substance that made me feel queasy.
Upon inspection, I knew it was sloppy and sleazy.
This brown mass had escaped and permeated the mattress.
I knew then that the cleanup would be utter madness.
As I climbed out of bed gently, I made a fatal mistake.
One small slip and I was headed for the brown snake.
Time slowed down to that of a snail’s pooping pace.
A look of horror and disgust grew upon my face.
I had no time for fancy manoeuvres, no time to react.
Approaching quickly was what my anus had yakked.
Head first I fell directly toward this hideous enemy.
I closed my eyes and accepted this fecal destiny.