I’m conducting The Symphony of Stinky, Spicy, Shitey.
The foul aroma is palpable and mighty.

I’m struck by agony, I am gnashing my teeth.
While my butthole sears like a burning wreath.

What if my hole melts and closes shut?
Never again to lay a chocolate donut.

I’m brought back to reality by a nostril alert.
An odorous alarm making my brain hurt.

The high notes are very foreign and so unforgiving.
The scent so powerful, could wake the unliving.

But the spice, the sting, the fiery turd.
All I can say now: “Oh. My. Word.”

So I finalise this ordeal and farewell this dump.
But each wipe is painful and incinerates my rump.

I watch as it flushes and I give a whistle.
I saw it disappear… a heat seeking missile.