Here is a story about a stealthy brown attack.
The battle took place within my own crack.

I foolishly delayed laying this brick too long.
It overstayed it’s welcome and I ignored the pong.

And there I sat writing pooems in my quarters.
Totally unaware of the impending slaughter.

Little by little the mass was growing inside.
And lying in wait like a dormant landmine.

By luck, I felt an inkling. A nagging doubt.
From the back of my mind came a shout.

I immediately stood alert and ready to fire.
But alas! I was struck with a cramp so dire!

The pain and shock in my gut were too much.
Trembling, my hands to my gut did clutch.

I slammed a fist down upon my work station.
And hunched over not risking bowel inflation.

I staggered away, taking only baby steps.
But I felt a spasm in my buttock’s biceps.

Why did I not heed those rectal warnings?
An abortion would have avoided this spawning!

The journey was not pleasant and far from simple.
As I waddled to the loo I felt like a cripple.

One too many obstacles lay ahead in my path.
I surged through to avoid the stinky aftermath.

But my trek was cut short, I’m sad to report.
A loose shoelace caused a sudden brown export.