This I blame on my coffee.
It’s bound my deuce to hardened toffee.

Suddenly a massive splurge…
As my bowels began to purge.

So much force from the backlogged gas.
I don’t even think I heard a splash.

So much carnage lies in the bowl.
I really did lose all control.

There’s poo all over my porcelain throne.
So much devastation I’ve never known.

I’ve neglected to mention the brutal aroma.
A stench so bad it will put you in a coma.

I have to get out of here I can’t take much more.
I seem to be trapped, better kick down the door.