At the break of dawn, I break wind… Bowel tells me soon I’ll have sinned. So here’s a shit I take. …

So… my upstairs toilet rarely gets used. I guess I used it, I’d forgotten I’d pooed. I discovered something horrendous …

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. I’m sitting here with a thumb up me bum. I’m quite drunk …

Yankee Doodoo went to town, Riding on his poony. Slumped some fecal out his butt, And called it macrodoodie.

Tell ya what, being a guy is all class, Yes girls, I know we can be crass. But there are …

One, two, take a poo. Three, four, not on the floor. Five, six, you’re shittin’ bricks! Seven, eight, nine, your fecal …

It was a gloomy evening that I spied out my window, Nothing but rain as my turtle head appeared below. Street …

This is a tale from the dark brown depths of my past. It is about a man who did things …

I went for the first bog of the day. I could tell things were amiss right away. The scent wafting …

Laying in bed I suddenly felt the urge. A rumbling below, my gases set to purge. I rolled over so …

Storming the porcelain, I’m armed to the teeth. Nostrils raised, I detected something beneath. My goal, it’s lackluster shine is …