On the cusp of all the guests arriving…
A brown unloading, I was not desiring.
But lo and behold, I got that sudden feeling.
Bowels were wheeling and doodoo-dealing.
This was no time for scuba-scat diving.

But alas, the inner rumbling had come.
Like a knocking on the door of my bum.
I hastily greeted the porcelain in a hurry.
Cheeks touched down to release the slurry.
Quickly I pumped it out like the beating of a drum.

I swear I’ve never shat faster than that.
Though the nuggets came thick and fat.
And in record winning time I was finished.
I may have left the porcelain blemished.
But the first guest need not know of my speedy scat.