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Pooetry

Houston, We Have a Pooblem!

Friday work lunch, a burger from heaven.
But the aftereffects, got my bowels a revvin’.

I got back to the office in the nick of time.
Then to the loo to attend to my brown slime.

I unloaded this beast, it’s mass unforgivable.
But the taste of that burger, entirely loveable.

So now the job was done, I was in the clear.
But for what was coming, I had no idea.

There was a second onslaught but I was none the wiser.
Shit was about to explode like that from a geyser.

Home time arrived and I felt a slight urge.
Though I foolishly left before attempting another purge.

The drive home was pleasant until all of a sudden,
I felt the pangs of the second fecal floodin’.

I had a couple errands to run on my drive home.
Could I complete them with this incoming brown foam?

There was no way, the pain was far too great.
The tidal turd waves were smashing at my butt’s gate.

Then out of nowhere, the threat vanished.
It was as if this brown beast had been banished.

Making stop number one, the monster returned.
The brown inside me was covertly churned.

I struggled to hold it in, but knew time was low.
This fecal mistake had dealt me a cruel blow.

I sped home with all haste and power.
I thought of the toilet where I must cower.

I pulled into the driveway and burst into the house.
I hoped my pants had not been brownly doused.

Made it to the throne where I fumbled with my belt buckle.
The beast inside was excessively of muckle.

The pants flew down, I had but to plant my bum.
Inches before touchdown the eruption had come.

It was such a close call, such a risky endeavour.
But I have no regrets, I’ll eat there forever!

Pure Pooetry

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