Crappy Crab Walk Cramps

I didn’t get the chance to poop at all yesterday.
So I had a big load waiting in my brown bay.

At one point I found an available loo.
But sticking out of the bowl was a giant poo.

So I held it in and played the waiting game.
Thankfully I didn’t blow it, else there’d be shame.

As gross as it was, it was also somewhat funny.
Someone has done a number (two) on that poor dunny.

After waiting several hours I finally got my chance.
I was looking forward to unloading and not soiling my pants.

But I’d held this one in for far too long.
The boulder within had grown strong.

It didn’t want to leave, my gut told me so.
For as I walked to the loo, I had to go slow.

With my legs arched, I moved like a crab.
A cramp in my gut caused by the brown slab.

My destination arrived and I dropped the deadweight.
I was finally free of the mammoth fecal taint.

Pure Pooetry

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