How’d You Like Them Crapples?

This nasty tree bears rotten fruit.
The kind that makes your butt toot.
Be wary of this crappy fruit tree.
It’s a serious warning to you from me.
It’ll be unkind to your poop chute.

These crappy apples are brown like poo.
And they feel quite sticky like a glue.
You’ll recognise the smell oh so rotten.
You smell it once, it’ll never be forgotten.
Involuntarily it’ll make you spew.

A bit like the tree in The Garden of Eden.
Except this shite we don’t be needin’.
The only snake it has in common.
Is the brown one I’m southward bombin’.
Cos those damn apples I’ve been a feedin’.

Pure Pooetry

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