It took two flushes to wash down, my explosive monsoon coloured brown.

I knew I was in trouble before I sat, my cheeks were clenched to avoid premature shat.

Then when I planted it went KA-BOOM! Thankfully contained in the bowl and not covering the room.

It was unpleasant to say the least, passing this ferocious fecal beast.

But I have learned something from this sloppy pooloppy. Reduce the intake of double shot coffee.