I’ve got a shitty magic trick.
Upon giving my fingers a click…

Turds blast out with such force.
Leaving a trail of brown sauce.

I practise my aim everyday.
Focusing my beam of fecal spray.

If I concentrate I hit the bullseye.
But it makes the janitors cry.

I decided to become a (s)hitman for hire.
Taking out victims to the highest buyer.

My targets don’t know what hit them.
Doodie death comes at a hundred RPM.

I’m the ass-assassin that can’t be stopped.
Armed to the teeth and loaded with plop.

It’s so easy, I just give my fingers a snap.
Headed your way, a bullet made of crap.