Manly Shit

I don’t know why and I don’t know how.
But a sloppy wet fart I did just now…

It came out with a splutter and a splurt.
And it sounded like it should’ve really hurt.

But it was totally painless and quite airy.
It felt soft and dainty like from a little faerie.

It’s not very manly of me, I feel a bit ashamed.
When I drop loads someone oughta get maimed.

So I looked in the bowl expecting to see little.
But instead the brown was the opposite of brittle.

Rough and spikey with glistening ridges.
And it’s enormous size was at least 30 inches.

I was reminded of dinosaur’s hide, the T-Rex.
I was stumped how the porcelain wasn’t wrecked.

More than half of it stuck right out of the water.
I’m surprised my anus didn’t receive a slaughter.

Now I felt a bit better, I felt a bit prouder.
But flushing it I thought I’ll need gunpowder.

Pure Pooetry

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