An asshole before me was not discreet.
They’ve left urine all over the seat.
This makes me so angry, it makes me furious.
What were they thinking? I’m actually curious.
Now how will I deliver my brown meat?

I abandon this stall and find another.
But on its seat lies a sickly smoother.
I can’t believe some people can be this crass.
I just want somewhere clean to plant my ass.
So I’ll stand legs arched as my buttocks hover!

Strategically I position myself over the bowl.
But my aim sucks and I missed the hole!
On the seat my sloppy snake lays.
Shamefully in its gooey glaze.
And ironically now I am the asshole.