In the past I’ve mentioned chocolatey Buttella.
It’s a thick sickly treat, I’ll tell ya what fella.

But may I suggest this you never actually eat.
If you really must, please be discreet.

We don’t wanna see it, nor get close to the smell.
I’d much rather be dead, can’t you tell?

Then there’s the gooey, Nutty Poonut Butter.
When they prepare it, it comes out a splutter.

And of course you must know about Fecal Jam.
A good friend of ours makes his own in his can.

In various flavours ranging from nuts to corn.
Into many jars he’ll scrape the rancid spawn.

And last but not least there’s the most heinous of all.
A dark slimy condiment that makes my skin crawl.

It’s only found in the most wretched of countries.
Like those shithole nations filled with shitty junkies.

It’s Vegeshite, that tar-like horrible brown goop.
Did you know they make it from emu poop?

But first they force feed that poor emu…
With a koala’s dreadful rear spew.

Then of course they mix it a bit with kangaroo dung.
You won’t wanna eat it even with an iron tongue.