I’m suffering from some constipation.
My face is redder than a fire station.
I’ve been here far too long…
And the room is starting to pong.
So it’s high time I attained brown elation.

I twiddle my thumbs, think happy thoughts.
While my anus puckers and distorts.
But still no lumpy nuggets are released.
I just wanna free this little brown beast.
Poohaps to desperate measures I shall resort.

I’m such a fool, I never learn from my mistakes.
Had too much dairy, and also ate my chocolate cake.
And now I’m paying the ultimate price.
Cos I was greedy with that last slice.
I must awaken the brown snake.

But the stinky reptile is in hibernation.
A sort of coma without laxation.
Not a single peep or poop…
To emerge from my flesh hoop.
This only compounds my fecal frustration.