It is hereby my duty to uphold the sacred doodie.
The ancient tradition of making brown smoothie.

But also to maintain order in the streets.
And enforce the lowering of toilet seats.

None shall be left in such a disdainful state.
That is something this brown wizard truly hates.

Unclean conditions are appalling to all.
A filthy bowl will be mankind’s downfall.

As chaos descends upon us like rain…
It is my turn to deal out the poopy-pain.

I cast a spell upon my nether regions.
Tonight foul doers will face their demons.

I’ve loaded my gut with hot and spicy items.
Now I needed a poo-perp onto which I’ll smite ’em!

I found such a person, the lowest of the low.
It is time to pass judgement with a brown blow!

Their crime was simple yet rude and reckless.
They failed to leave my porcelain speckless.

So I punished them with a sickening sentence.
In short, a thousand bowels were in attendance.

Retribution came swift and justice was upheld.
They were forced to endure history’s worst smells.

The offender had their face pressed into many a cheek…
And that’s not even mentioning all the brown streaks.