My Fat Ass

My ass is too big for the seat in this stall.
Both my flabby cheeks spill over it all.

Precariously I balance upon this slimy seat.
My sweat has made this a difficult feat.

While I attempt to maintain a centred position…
I blast out the junk food that created this condition.

But I used too much force to the left of my rump.
And I slowly tip over, me and my weighty lump.

I try to fend off gravity by clutching at the wall.
But my hefty mass has quickened this fall.

I’m at a dangerous point, my cheek is nearly free.
Then the seat edge will shoot up the crack of me!

I quickly blast a grease torpedo from the right cheek.
It gives me the balancing push from this seat so sleek.

I’m centred again, back to my pooping duties.
And then out blasts a mammoth rocket doodie.

Pure Pooetry

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