The engines are primed, my bowels are full.
To kick off this launch I’ll give my finger a pull.

A preemptive fart erupts and signals the brown.
A siren is heard all throughout the town.

You see, when my bowels rumble like thunder.
Take off is imminent from my pants-under.

A monumental explosion is about to take place.
To erupt and send me into outer space.

If you stand too close to the toilet seat lid…
Take cover, else be you’ll be covered in skids.

There’s no countdown, the rocket-ass has blown!
Shattered into little pieces is now my porcelain throne.

There was no time to brace for impact.
Everywhere lies the stool I had packed.