I’m pooping in a far off distant land…
Not the usual throne that I demand.

A public pooper is where I’m at…
A dark filthy place, was that a rat?

But what do you do when it’s a fecal emergency?
Bowels primed, release is a matter of urgency.

Looking back I suppose I could have soiled my pants.
Or gone to the sausage aisle and taken a chance.

What’s with all these people? Public toilet traffic is heavy…
This centre could make money with a user levy.

That way you can have some peace and quiet.
When you’re trying dump and start a rectal riot.

But in this environment, would a riot be an improvement?
The ‘clean toilets for all’ slogan makes a new bowel movement.